Things to Consider

You adopt because you want a child, right?

man and kids kissing his cheek

It goes much deeper than that.  Some people choose to adopt because they can’t conceive a biological child and still feel a strong desire to experience parenthood.  Others want to adopt regardless of whether they can conceive a child. Many adoptive families include both biological and adopted children.

Whatever your reason, you should be ready to handle the ups and downs and challenges of adoption and the best way to do that is to do your research.

Making the Decision

Families, couples, and individuals who decide to adopt should always explore self-reflection and consideration about their reasons for wanting to adopt, as well as their expectations.  If you have biological children in your home, you will want to explore the idea with them and include them in the discussion.  You will be sure to be on the right track if everyone in the family agrees to open their heart and their home to a child.

When considering adoption, you may want to explore the answers to the following questions:

  • How will a new child fit into your lives and relationships?
  • How will a new child affect family dynamics–especially if the family already has children?
  • What changes are the parents willing to make to ease the child’s transition?
  • How do the parents feel about “open” adoption, that is, contact with the child’s birth family?
  • How do the parents feel about welcoming a child from the foster care system who may have experienced abuse or neglect?
  • In cases of transracial or transcultural adoption–how do the parents feel about accommodating, helping, and promoting the child’s positive cultural and racial identity?
  • How will the parents inform family members and friends, and how they will deal with questions from family, friends, and strangers about adoption?
  • How will the parents answer their own child’s questions about adoption, the adopted child’s background, history, birth family, and the reasons for adoption?
  • How willing and able are they to seek help for themselves or their child when necessary?

There are many online resources to further the exploration of adoption.  Finding adoptive homes is not as important as establishing fulfilling, mutually beneficial and lifelong connections that last through the test of time.